Time for another “what in the hell has Hannah eaten now?!” I’m you host, H-Money, wassup wassup! On today’s episode, we are going to chitty chat chat about one of the most delicious items I have ever put into my face hole. No, this is not a drill. When I say it’s one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted, I. ain’t. lyin’. H-Money don’t lie.
Cannoli motha flippin’ Pastry. One of the best in Dearborn, Michigan (in my humble and correct opinion). Owned and operated by none other than….well, actually, I have no clue who the person is that owns and/or operates this place BUT I do know that it’s the uncle of one of my boyfriend’s friends and that uncle personally makes a lot of the pastries they sell, if not all of them. Or, I could totally be wrong in that and just possibly lied to you because I misheard information….in which case the above statement about H-Money never lying is, uhh, a lie. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I mean, it matters because I’m sure whoever runs the place works very hard and I’m not trying to discredit their hard work but–YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, OK. What matters are the pastries. Ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy laaaaawwwwwddddd almighty baby Jesus in Heaven the pastries. They are immaculate. Honestly, I’m pretty sure Cannoli Pastry pastries are actually served in the after life in both Heaven and Hell because they are just that flipping amazing.
I’ve had the privilege of eating a variety of their tasty goodies, but my all time favorite is their croissonut. Yes, you read that right. Say it with me now: “crois-so-nut.” Not a cronut. Not a donut croissant. Croissonut. A croissonut is the offspring of a cannoli, croissant, and a donut. Basically they had a threesome, some dough was spewed in some places and boom. A croissonut was born. I will insert a picture of the angelic dessert nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn………….OW! (there it is. Below. Bam).
Seriously guys, these people have it down to a science. The flavor is out of this world good and the texture is perfect. You can choose between chocolate or vanilla–chocolate pictured here–and all of them are topped with a cute little raspberry! I’ve had both chocolate and vanilla and the difference between them is just the frosting on top. I’m a chocolate lover so I gravitate towards chocolate more, but the vanilla does not disappoint and I totally endure the vanilla just as much as the chocolate. The frosting doesn’t even taste like regular frosting. I honestly don’t know if you can even call it frosting because that’s actually like, an insult. The topping is so thick and creamy, melting in your mouth like warm butter on freshly popped popcorn. It’s honestly the best topping I’ve ever tasted. It’s rich and packed with so much flavor on it’s own I would probably just buy a jar of it alone.
The pastry is covered in sugar, as you can see from the picture, but really I feel like it just adds to the texture. Maybe you’re thinking, “but Hannah, I don’t like super sugary things,” and so then I’m thinking, “Ok well first off, you’re silly and I’m not sure how you have even managed to live a happy life up to this point, but this is not a sugar overload.” Yes, it’s sweet, but the sugar coating doesn’t make it overly so. The dough is like croissant dough, but shaped into a donut and it’s filled; filled with the sounds of choirs singing and baby lambs frolicking through fields of sunflowers. Literally, when you bite into this thing, that is what it actually it sounds like. The cannoli filling is like no other filling I’ve had. It fills the croissonut from edge to edge, and if you look closely at the photo above, you can actually see the cannoli filling peeping out in the middle. I love filling, I really do, but sometimes it is just too much. This on the other hand is p-e-r-f-e-c-t. Seriously, it’s great. I really think it’s because cannoli filling (if you ever had a cannoli you know what I’m talking about) isn’t overly sweet and it’s not overpowering.
I will warn you: this pastry is dense and very filling. I don’t recommend eating two in one sitting because they are actually pretty big (my photo is deceiving) and incredibly dense. Even for someone like my boyfriend, Jad, who is 220 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal (wasssup babyyyyy) and can put down a whole lot of food, one is enough for him. These pastries are also meant to be kept COLD. Do NOT leave them sitting out in your living room for more than 5 minutes!!! THEY WILL MELT! And then you’ll be so sad and I’ll just be over here shrugging my shoulders all like, “I told ya so,” and I really don’t like being the ‘I told ya so’ girl even though I did tell you so. Part of their deliciousness comes from them being served chilled. I love warm desserts, but I love my chilled desserts just as much, if not more. The croissants are also not meant to be kept in the fridge for days and days. They are made fresh daily and should be eaten the same day. If left overnight, they can get a little soggy and while they will still make you want to cry tears of sweet, sweet joy, they are much better eaten on the same day.
Basically, this place gets a 10/10 rating because not only are the croissonuts absolutely fabulous, but so are all their other desserts! I honestly have not been disappointed once by anything I’ve had from this pastry shop and I’ve eaten just about every single thing on their menu (minus a few limited edition cupcakes). I’m telling you guys, go to Cannoli Pastry because if there’s one thing I would not lie to you about, it is most definitely this.
Donut rating: 10/10 *drool worthy*